I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
