Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
