This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
