I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
