i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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