GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
