Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
