The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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