38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
