I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
