we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
