Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
