I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
