Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
