She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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