I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
