I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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