the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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