Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
