and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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