i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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