it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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