I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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