So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
