Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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