In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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