After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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