I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
