Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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