i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize