gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
