I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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