Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
