The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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