Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
