I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Fuck appropriateness.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
