I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
