i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
