it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
