So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
