so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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