After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize