fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
