We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
