Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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