erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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