I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
