the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude i'm inner monologue high
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize