looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
