I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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