You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
