Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
