So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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