onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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