About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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