You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
