But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am available for nakedness
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
