is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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