Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
