I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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