who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
