sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That's intense
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize