i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The best revenge is premature balding
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
